I can hardly write today.  I’m crying while I struggle to think and to put words together.

Let me try to explain:

I read 1 Corinthians 9 today. Paul writes about the “rights” he has willingly forfeited in his desperate bid to bring people to Jesus.  Finally he says, “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some.”  The emphasis is on all, and the final word, some appears as a discordant and jarring note.  Paul is doing everything he can in every situation he is in and with every person he meets, so that by every means within his power, only some will be saved!?

I felt sorry for Paul. 

But then I thought of God.

God longs to save each one of us so much that He does everything possible in order to reach our hearts.  He isn’t a God of half-measures. He is all in!  Paul speaks of being compelled to preach the gospel – it was no halfhearted choice, no toss-up between plan A or B!  He preaches because he can’t keep it in! The fire of passion and love burns in his bones and drives him.

Just so, God didn’t waver between the decision to save us or let us go. Even though the choice was difficult and painful - even though he knew it would cost him everything - it wasn’t really a choice.  His intense, deep love compelled him to reach out and to give his all so that he could rescue us.

But there is that haunting statement: “I have become all things to all men so that by all means I might save some!”

In the face of sin, even all of the heart-felt attempts of the all-powerful God of the Universe can only save some.  Sin has restricted God and robbed him of what his heart desires. God dearly longs to rescue each person this world has ever birthed. Every single heart that beats on this planet tugs desperately at his great heart. But God is not able to save all. Sin has robbed God and sin has cost God so much - not only the suffering of the cross, but also the loss of each individual that he couldn't save and that he must live without for eternity.

Revelation says that God will wipe away our tears. But who can wipe away His tears? 


How then can I love sin at all? How can I shrug my shoulders and keep a few of its souvenirs in my heart when it has hurt my dear Father so much?!

Oh Father, no! I hate it!  I’m so sorry for the “little sins” that I have let into my heart.  Father, I just hate what sin is doing to You and I want nothing to do with it.  Sin in all of its forms will be my enemy just as it is your enemy. I abhor it and I feel so angry and heart-broken for the pain it has caused to You… oh my precious Father…