Good morning & happy Sabbath! I didn't have time to do my typical study in Corinthians, so I spent some time in Psalm 81 instead. I love doing something different every now for variety. :-)

I have been flat out this morning with getting ready for church (even more so because I'm coordinating the service today and I had to print out run sheets etc), so I'm actually writing this in the car on the way to church!

Here are some thoughts from my reading:
Ps 81:8, 11, 13, 14, 16: “Hear, O my people, and I will warn you— if you would but listen to me, O Israel! 11 “But my people would not listen to me; Israel would not submit to me. 13 “If my people would but listen to me, if Israel would follow my ways, 14 how quickly would I subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes! ...you would be fed with the finest of wheat; with honey from the rock I would satisfy you.”

I couldn't help but feel the depths of God's yearning for authentic relationship with his people. There is such a heartbreaking pathos in his anguish! I couldn't help but respond with "Oh Father, I will listen! I will follow your ways! You are my hero, you deliver me from the attacks of the enemy. I am nourished, well fed and completely satisfied in You!"

This song speaks to me so deeply... the lyrics stir my heart and the melody soothes my soul.

My favourite line: At the end of my heart's testing / With Your likeness let me wake. The beauty of God captivates my spirit... and the longing to have his loveliness in me makes me a true captive to hope. 

P.s isn't the poem thrilling, too?!

I'll confess I was a bit worried about this morning’s reading.  I remembered 1 Corinthians 5 as the part about the man who’s sleeping with his stepmother – inspiring stuff, for sure! :-) So I specifically asked God to teach me something practical. 

This passage jumped out at me: 1 Cor 5:6- 8 “Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? 7 Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.”

I couldn't figure out what this could mean for me at first. So I pasted it into a word document and started by summarizing it  in my own words.  Then I saw what God was trying to tell me. I was reminded of all the 'little things' I do in my day that I shouldn't do at the time – checking facebook during my prayer time, reading a few pages from a storybook when I should be studying and so on... 

It happened yesterday! I knew I needed to get an assignment done, but I kept checking my blog and facebook. Then I wandered off and read a storybook for an hour.  After I put the book down, I felt so far from God I cried. 

I keep asking God to lead me through the day, and then so often I go off and do my own thing.  It has happened so many times I had to wonder, "Will I ever change?" and also, the question of "Why is God so far when what I did was so innocent?"

I feel like God explained it to me in this morning's passage.  These little things, like those few grains of yeast change  my whole direction and break my connection with God.  It is kind of like we are on this road together and when I veer off to do my own thing, I am unclasping my hand from his and leaving the path. It might only seem like a small step off the path, but it leads away from the path.  Once I have left the path, I find I have to to turn around and struggle back before I can be back at His side, walking hand in hand again.

But praise God!  This passage reminded me that even though  I might mix some deadly yeast into my life, that’s not who I am.  God continues to call me back to himself and into my true identity – the new me.
 
Daddy, thank you! now I understand... You can’t come with me when I leave the path, because that is the devil’s territory. So that's is why I feel so alone and empty when I go off and do my own thing!  But you always take me back with open arms. You give me sweet words of comfort and love. You remind me of who I am - I am yours. How I want to walk with you, hand in hand always! 

He is "the fairest among 10,000"

Good morning!

Sometimes I have to wonder why I get to be so blessed! I have struggled along pitifully at many stages in my life, but right now, I feel like I'm more than blessed than I can cope with!  Last night, we had a small group meeting in my home, and I found myself thinking, "Wow, we've been meeting for over a year and I feel so safe, loved and at home with the ladies in my group, plus the Word becomes so much more real to me as we study it together." I think, "How can this be happening to me?! It's the first small group I've attended, I'm the co-leader and it is so rewarding. Why me?!"

I'm also grateful for this blog. I struggle to see the need for yet another blog, but when I first stumbled across Sean Neblett's page, Lofty Studios, I felt moved to create a chronicle of my own journeying with God.  Since I started, I've barely posted - like, less than once bimonthly!  One of my main struggles was that I felt like I needed to have something really extra special to write - plus the time to edit it to perfection.  But just a few days ago I was invited to join a Bible-reading accountability group on facebook. After a few days of writing a few lines each day about what I'd read and learned, I realised that I could blog in exactly the same way.  So... if my posts are grammatically strange, painfully long or somehow else strange... well, yeah :-)  I'm particularly grateful, because I so much wanted to post more often and I feel like God made it doable!

I'm feeling blessed to have a super techie husband who stayed up last night to get this new template working, too.  (If you like it, feel free to comment, so that I can pass on the thanks to him! ;-)

And lastly... I am so blessed TODAY by an unexpected early wake up and an awesome time of discovery in 1 Corinthians 4. But more about in my longer post that below.

Talk soon... be blessed!

P.s seriously, His love is way better than anything else life could ever offer!

Here are some lessons gathered from 1 Cor 4!

• The paradox of ministry:  a pastor is a slave (the most insignificant person). But he is a slave of Christ, whose work is to caretake the hidden treasures of God (which is the most significant work).
• It doesn’t matter what people think of you – whether they love you or hate you, praise you or criticize you, because as servant of God, he is the only one who can determine how good your work is – even you can’t!  So don’t set your heart on the approval of your teachers, employers or friends.  Seek God’s approval.  (v 3 – 5)
• Don’t compare yourselves with people around you and get a big head.  Any abilities you – or they – have were gifts from God.  Remember it’s not all you and be humble about it!  God had a reason he gifted you in the way he did and you can be sure it wasn’t for you to feel superior!  (v 7)
• Don’t envy, criticize or pedestal the ministry.  Ministers suffer scrutiny, mockery, criticism, want: of all people they are judged most harshly.  Instead of admiring or criticizing the minister, as far as you can see they are honouring God, take them as a role model.  Watch their godly lives and take it as a challenge to pursue God and godliness more yourself! (8 - 16)
• God’s kingdom isn’t established or composed of pious words, elegant prayers or dynamic sermons. It is a matter of Holy Spirit power.  If you want to be a true witness for God, don’t imagine you’ve done your job by sharing a few well chosen words.  Be all for God yourself, let the Holy Spirit lead you into empowered living.  Then you will show the world that there really is something to Christianity – that it’s not just talk! (v 18 - 20)  

Father, thank you for the reminder of where all the power and ability comes from, and where I can go to find the approval my heart longs for - all You!! Please fill me with your Holy Spirit. I want to be a true witness. I want the world to know how incredible You are. And even though I know I'm so selfish, so rude, so wrong.. I know that You can do in through me.  Please go ahead.  Do whatever you want to in my life.  I completely adore you and I fully trust you. You love is better than life!

It sure was hard to get up THIS morning! I think I'm suffering from yesterday's early start.  I slept through my 5:30 alarm and just half whispered a desperate prayer of, "Please don't let me sleep for too much longer, Father!"  He is so good. At 6:30 I managed to be awake enough to open my eyes and turn on the touch lamp.  I woke up praying, "Please help me to wake up! I'm so tired, but help me!!" 

Anyway... I was in 1 Cor 2 this morning. I learned sooo much. I'll TRY to condense it! :-)

• Jealousy, bickering, fighting and pride are evidences of spiritual immaturity. Seek to grow beyond them. Don’t hold on to them, give them to God as so much trash that needs removing. (v 1 - 3)  
• Don’t have favourite ministers, or praise up people. They are simply co-workers with God. HE is the real star of the show! (v 5 - 9)
• Don’t chase after a coveted spot in ministry that is judged as most important (i.e I want to be a great evangelist or such). Be content to fill whatever place God has assigned you. We are just God's field-hands.  (v 5 - 9)
• Keep Jesus at the center of everything – there is no other valid foundation. HE IS IT.  (v 10 - 11)
• Take care of your body and your mind. Treat them with care and respect - remembering that you are God’s house. He lives in you. You are a holy place, the house that bears his name.  (v 16 - 17) 
• Don’t pay too much attention to world experts to find guidance for any area of your life. God is the true source of wisdom. Don’t read so many self-help books. Take your problems to God instead! He will actually change you from the inside.  (v 18 - 20)
• Live in the richness of the called life. Remember that everything is at your feet and at your fingertips – life, death, the universe, today, eternity… so don’t get caught up in the triviality of life. You are an heiress! (v 21 - 23)

What a morning! I struggled to get up at 4:30 after a crazy evening... tried to get to bed around 8:30 so that I could plan on a 3:30 morning, to finish a late assignment, but just as I finally drifted off to sleep around 9:30, this bright light flashed in my room. It happened three times in a row. I finally worked out it was my touch lamp - after being totally spooked out! But God is sooo good. I adjusted my rising time to 4:30 and prayed myself awake this morning - ie. "Father, please help me to wake up... I feel so bad... please don't let me go back to sleep...!" :-) I am now just about to start working on my assignment, but WOW, I've had the most incredible time with God.

My passage today was 1 Corinthians 2. I read it aloud twice, listened to it in the Message and then worked through it verse by verse, underlining and making notes. The whole chapter is a fascinatingly crafted argument, but the last verse just hit me over the head:

The thought from the quoted passage is "What a crazy idea! No one knows can penetrate into God's mind or ever correct Him!" and yet... we not only know the mind of the Lord, we HAVE it!! (remembering that Christ IS the Lord - Lk 2:11)

I still can't get over this...! it seems like a shocking thought. Do we believe that we've been given the mind of God? What riches! It makes all my stressing and worrying seem soooo inappropriate and unnecessary. How dare I worry? Why would I ever fear anything or anyone? Why would I worry about human expectations or understandings, when God is offering to open to my mind His viewpoint, His understanding - an understanding and wisdom that has no equal and can never be rightly criticized or corrected. All mine....??! WOW!

I've left the Psalms behind for now, and at the moment, I'm digging the letters of Paul! I took a class in Epistles last year, which I actually found pretty boring, but surprisingly it awoke my fascination for them, anyway.  So I decided to journal the epistles. Right now I'm working backwards (started in Hebrews and I'll finish in Romans - see, I figured that Romans is a bit too deep for simple me to take on straight up, but maybe if I get used to Paul's style, themes and figure of speech first, I'll understand some of it...!)

Here's a short passage that spoke to me recently: 

"It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone." Ephesians 1:11-12 (MSG)*

My identity is in Christ… and in fact, this is the only place where I can finally, truly know who I am.  There is no other place, no other possible option. He is it!  And even now… even though I have accepted Christ into my life, whenever I lose sight of this, my own sense of identity is jeopardized.  When I seek to find my identity in my figure, my face, my hair, my ministry, my preaching, my abilities…  it is then that my whole identity becomes uncertain, shaky… confidence crumbles and power dies.

I know who I am only in Him – because it is only in Him that I truly live, that the real me appears. Apart from Him, I am a corpse with life-like make-up and puppet strings.

I also find direction in Christ – in Him I know why I live, where I am headed and who I am meant to be.  As I come to Him, everything falls into place and my blurred vision clears. Oh to live in this place! To live in His presence and to walk everyday with this clear vision!

Oh Father, right now I just want to invite you again with all of my heart to take charge of this journey.  You are my hero, You are my mentor… please take me by the hand and lead me to wherever  You have in mind. You are my true destiny and I absolutely, completely trust and love You!       

*Note: I don't use the Message as my main Bible translation, and I don't feel I could recommend it as such. But as an added resource, it is a blessing. 

My sis and her beautiful family

I can hardly believe that so much time has passed since posting here. Time has a funny way of slipping by while you turn your head away for the briefest moment!  But every day has left its mark of happy moments in my heart. God spoiled Ben and I with an incredible US holiday during Christmastime.  Some friends in California got married and asked us to shoot the wedding! Being part of it, surrounded by amazing friends and living in each fun-filled moment was just so incredible.  One of those unforgettable moments: I'm standing by a truck about to head for the wedding rehearsal, tray filled with decorations for the church,  atmosphere charged with anticipation... when Ben goes, "Oh, Danica had the baby." My big sis was soo hoping for a baby girl from this pregnancy (after two boys), so I begged Ben to tell me what she had. After a few long minutes of suspense, he casually commented, "It's a girl" and I went crazy! Our friend, and pianist for the wedding, Sean Nebblett was standing by and laughing while I danced around the truck, squealing, clapping and jumping up and down.

After the wedding, an amazing twist of circumstances took us to Lake Tahoe for two days of snow-white wonder.

Jonathon & Kelsey Sims

I have to wonder sometimes, How can I be so spoiled? and I hug myself and whisper "Thank you." It's You. You just love spoiling us, don't you, Daddy? Just like my sister and her family delight to spoil baby Hannah, You love to spoil me! You just keep taking my breath away... reminding me in so many ways, how much You love me. 

Oh Daddy, what does this year have in store for me? I just hope... that it will be a year filled with discovering You more and exploring with You... You are all I want!

Sometimes it feels funny writing to no-one in particular. Tonight I’m really feeling it.  Who am I talking to?  What should I tell??? 

Well… it’s Friday evening and I’m ready to head for bed at 7:50 for two reasons – I got to sleep after midnight last night and I need to get up early tomorrow to prepare myself to preach.  So it’s important!  But, I decided I wanted to write for a bit first… just to unwind.

Life has been crazy recently. I came up with a surprising (?) conclusion recently – studying Theology is all about reading (much more of it than any sane person can manage!).  That “new” fact was really daunting me on Tuesday. But I conscientiously tried to get started. Then I ran into Herb (one of my theo buddies).  We both needed to study, but we talked for ages instead and it was one of those spine-tingling conversations that I knew was a gift from God.  We talked about how everything that ministry involves is God’s work and we just get to be a part of it and enjoy it. We wound up praying (standing in the middle of a walkway, no less!)  and as I prayed it suddenly hit me – here I was recognizing that ministry was all about God, while thinking that studying for ministry was all about me. So I asked God to take over and make my assignments exciting learning experiences.  And He did. No kidding!  Since then, I’ve been “researching” for my end-time essay and seriously, it doesn’t feel like research at all because I’m so fascinated by the topic now. It’s all I can think about!

And you know what? I feel like God is excited with me! He surprised me... Wanna know how? Well, it's like this... I grew up with so much talk about the end times that I didn’t want to hear any more.  So now  I have a lot of reading to do.  There was one book in particular that I really wanted – but the one library copy was out on loan for a month!  I emailed my lecturers to find out if any of them had it. No luck.  I happened to mention my frustration to the secretary of the EGW Research Centre and the next day the guy who had borrowed it happened to talk to her about it! So she connected us and he agreed to let me have it!  The whole thing gives me shivers. What were the chances of finding this guy, and of his not needing the book?  Sometimes I can almost imagine the playful smile on God’s face as he interacts with me.  How much fun did he have working up my desire for this book while it became more and more inaccessible and then just dropping it into my lap like that?! 

Father, you make me smile! We have so much fun together.  I hope that life will always be like this – you and me facing the world together.  I'm okay with whatever happens, just so long as you're with me.  Truly, your love is better than life!